Thoughtful

Welcome to Wednesday Witness!  Please read this week's testimony and be encouraged!  All comments on Wednesday Witness should be encouraging and uplifting. Be sure to email me at kirraantrobus@gmail.com if you want to have your testimony featured for Wednesday Witness.

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So this the climax of my testimony. A small recap of my last two blogs: had lupus, God heals me; I rebelled from God's goodness to only live a life of sin and hell. Ok so let me finish this up. Remember some of you might relate to this part as well... :)

In December the church camp retreat 2010, I end up going because someone paid for me to go; although I refused I still went. I remember being in a campfire as the pastor asked us, "What do you want to get from this experience?" As they went around, it was my turn.... I automatically froze and spoke out: "I know I haven't been around much but I know it's time for a change, and I know only God can do that. I want to be back as I was before but even greater," and as I broke down and teared up, I just remembered how good God has been to me, and I was so blind to see it. Being headed from lupus, blessing me with a job I needed, & blessing me with life to live. I’ll tell you I needed this experience with God. It truly helped me open up my eyes to the things the devil had me caught up in. Because I understood that everything about my life was wrong & it was going to lead me to one place: HELL.

As January kicked in, I was still in the lustful relationship, making it clear that I wasn't gonna smoke weed anymore nor have sex. But it’s easier said then done. I say the hardest thing for me during that transition was LETTING GO of that relationship. I felt like he was the guy for me because he was the only one that was there for me when my parents and family wasn't. Then I remembered:  "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close." Psalm 27:10

So no matter who remained by me or not GOD was still there for me. Even after that scripture hit me I began slowly to let go of the things that didn't gratify God. It took about 5/6 months for me to LET IT GO and live for God.

It certainly wasn't easy. Because during those months I was still cussin, and slipped sexually occasionally. Even times where I thought that one relationship woulda gotten me knocked up. But God held me together, as soon as my breakthrough came, I was able to recover from that heartache and pain.

Some say the desire I had sexually kind of resulted from my father not being in my household, due to a divorce that's been on for 21 years. I might have been, but then again I've been ok because he was & still is always there for me when I need Him. So I craved male attention because I felt like I wasn't getting enough, & because the fact that God loves me seemed so unreal I couldn’t believe it. Nevertheless now it's much different.

This year I'm living in Christ MUCH better than I did last last year because I learned how to LET GO and LET GOD take control. Celibate, sober and clean for about 2 years strong. & I stand today learning from mistakes and learning how important the Gospel is. If it wasn't for my praying mother and my desire to get back in His steps I don't know where I would be. Because she didn't lose faith, God remained faithful.

It takes a lot of courage to admit you are living in the wrongs, but it takes a lot of strength to desire a drastic change. Although people STILL hold my past against me, I look at it as a reminder of God's goodness & mercy over my life. And I know that if He changed my life for the better, He can certainly change yours. All you need is faith and a ongoing fire for Him, and you'll find what you've been searching for. The minute you pick up your cross and follow God EVERYTHING falls into place.

As far as my testimony I see this just as the beginning, because although I've been delivered from my sinful ways, I still go through mini trials. I am not vulnerable to the enemies sinful tactics anymore because I’ve already been through it and I know how to escape them. The solution to overcome satan’s lies is fasting, praying and reading The Bible; DAILY. Don't be ashamed to live a pure life that honors God.

If you live your life abiding in Christ your reward is Heaven, if live your life your way your reward is Hell. Good deeds and being a good person doesn't cut it. If you don't live for God you ain't truly living.

So yeah I’ve been through it all. I'm here to encourage and be a light in the midst of darkness. Everything I've accomplished is because God gives me the strength to. God loves every one of us, although most of us may NEVER enter heavens gates. You still have a chance to live right for God NOW, today. Forget what others say -- If you desire a change you'll go after it.

"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."
-Luke 12:34

Remember: Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
God Bless :)