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I like most people. But like most people, I have people in my
life that I don't get along with. Some of
these people mistreated me in ways that are difficult to forgive and let go of,
while others have personalities or habits that make me want to cross the street
if I see them coming.
Recently while talking with one of these
people in my life, they said something rude to me. What they said was irrelevant. What matters is my reaction. In my mind (because I would never say this
out loud!), I said, "That's okay.
If you hate me, I'll just hate you right back."
The pure nastiness of my thought
startled me, and Jesus' words from the Sermon on the Mount instantly came to
mind:
"You have heard that it was said,
'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your
enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your
Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the
good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what
reward do you have? Do not even the tax
collectors do the same? If you greet
only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your
heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew
5:43-48 (NASB).
I doubt that you and I have many people
in our lives that we can genuinely call an enemy, but if we are supposed to
treat real enemies in this manner, what does that say about how we treat those
people who have hurt us or just get under our skin? To further the work of Christ and to effectively witness to those outside the church, it is time for a change.
Forgive
and let go of offenses.
Forgiveness is important when dealing with major offenses that divide
friends and create enemies as well as the small road bumps and potholes that
can gradually wear down our relationships.
Commit to forgiveness. Ask God
for help, and remember that sometimes you have to forgive the same person for the
same offense many times until you're able to permanently let it go. As you seek to forgive, put aside any anger
you've been carrying toward them. It
hurts you more than it does them, anyway.
Pray
for those that hurt you. When
you begin to sincerely pray for someone, you cannot hold on to any negative
feelings you have toward them. Pray for
them to be blessed. Pray for their
relationship with God to grow. Pray for
their families to be well. Pray for your
relationship with them. It will probably
be difficult, and you may not see any change in them, but you will find that it
does change you.
Treat
them with love. This
may in some ways be the hardest one.
When you've forgiven them and prayed for them, acting lovingly toward
them may be easy in theory, but it actually involves interacting with them,
when the first two do not. When you
begin to change the pattern of the relationship, you are risking failure, both
on your part and theirs. Someone who is
used to unpleasant treatment from you is likely to respond negatively even to
kindness. And a negative reaction from
them will invariably bring about a negative reaction from you. Hopefully that will not be the case, but it
is likely that it will take some time to turn around the relationship.
You may find that the relationship is
irreparable because the other person is unwilling. Continue to treat them kindly and remember
that seeking to pattern your life after Jesus is always beneficial, even if you
don't gain a friend.
Jesus was a loving person, caring for
all kinds of people and offered forgiveness even to the people who were
instrumental in His death. If He can
love even those who killed Him, who am I to be rude to someone who is rude to
me?
"To sum up, all of you be
harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not
returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;
for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a
blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9 (NASB).
Thanks for sharing Kirra...another though provoking post. I love the 1 Peter passage. I pray this post will help others as they journey in this life. Grace and peace be yours in abundance, Donna
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