Pregnant with Impatience

Shelly Hendricks is a wife and mother of 2 amazing kids. She was a teacher and a librarian in another life. She also suffers from Intracranial Hypertension, Interstitial Cystitis, and Essential Tremor, among a myriad of other issues mostly stemming from these three. She had brain surgery in 2012, to install a VP Shunt, and now considers herself to be a ‘bionic woman’ who is learning to walk again. Disability has been hard to deal with, but she depends on God for all strength and hopes to encourage others on this journey, through her blog at

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:2-4

When I was pregnant with my second child, my beautiful girl, I was on bed rest for 2 months.  My daughter was so excited to greet the world that she decided she didn't need the 9 months required by other babies to fully develop in the womb.  Nope, she figured she only needed 7 months.  I and her doctors knew better, however, and so we did everything we could to keep her inside my body for the appropriate amount of time.

In this life of chronic... well, everything... it's so hard not to feel like my little baby daughter did while she shared my body.  I find myself fighting impatience.  Sometimes the impatience feels like it has a life of it's own, and it grows and grows until it becomes large and angry and destructive.  Destructive to my own good.
You see, just as my child needed time to develop what she would need to successfully greet the world and live the life she was meant to live, I need time for God's work in me to fully develop and equip me for the challenges to come.

It is so easy to forget that God is doing a work in me, that I am developing.  It mostly feels like I'm just sitting around and waiting.  Actually it mostly feels like I'm just sitting around.  Scratch the waiting.  I don't feel that useful most days.

But the beauty of God is that He is God.  He's not limited by my finite imagination, and He isn't spurred on by my growing sense of impatience.  Thankfully, He continues on at His pace with His plan.  And I am reassured to know that He knows what I need, His ways are higher than mine, and His will will be what prevails.

I need to think of my life as a precious pregnancy, something to be protected and appreciated.  I need to be patient and reassured, not rushing headlong into anything that could distract me.  I will try to recognize the importance of these years that feel like waiting.  I will trust that they are necessary and vital.

Trust, that's the ticket, isn't it?  I trust you, Lord.  Do Your work in me.

Heavenly Father, help me to be more aware of the work You are doing in me.  Grant me more patience in the waiting.  In Jesus' Name, Amen...

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8 Responses to Pregnant with Impatience

  1. Waiting is hard. So hard! But, when I get impatient, I try to remember that everything happens in God's perfect timing! I'm trying to also remember that during this time of waiting, I can still find joy and beauty in each day! I don't want to let life pass me by while I sulk in my impatience, you know? Thanks for this great reminder that we are works in progress and everything God does has a perfect time!

    Blessings, Joan

  2. I so relate to sulking in my impatience, and not wanting life to pass by while I'm doing that! Thanks for blessing me with your comment here, Joan! Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  3. I don't want to let life pass me by while I sulk in my impatience, you know? - I can so relate to this!! Thanks for blessing me with your comment, Joan! Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  4. Love this Shelly. Your opening verse in James 1,2-4 is such a challenge-some of us have been discussing it on our (in)courage FB page.
    I love your heart and your words, and will pray for a continuous supply of grace to help you when it is hard- which it often must be for you !
    Love and prayers,

  5. It is a challenge, isn't it, Mary! A constant one for me. Thank you for your prayers. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  6. Shelly, thank you again for sharing on my blog! I love reading your thoughts!

  7. Joan, thank you for stopping by to see Shelly's post. Knowing her story makes most things I'm impatient about feel like not that big of a deal. Have a great day!

  8. Kirra, I feel privileged that you have me here! Heart Hugs, Shelly <3


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