Thoughtful

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:2-4

When I was pregnant with my second child, my beautiful girl, I was on bed rest for 2 months.  My daughter was so excited to greet the world that she decided she didn't need the 9 months required by other babies to fully develop in the womb.  Nope, she figured she only needed 7 months.  I and her doctors knew better, however, and so we did everything we could to keep her inside my body for the appropriate amount of time.

In this life of chronic... well, everything... it's so hard not to feel like my little baby daughter did while she shared my body.  I find myself fighting impatience.  Sometimes the impatience feels like it has a life of it's own, and it grows and grows until it becomes large and angry and destructive.  Destructive to my own good.
You see, just as my child needed time to develop what she would need to successfully greet the world and live the life she was meant to live, I need time for God's work in me to fully develop and equip me for the challenges to come.

It is so easy to forget that God is doing a work in me, that I am developing.  It mostly feels like I'm just sitting around and waiting.  Actually it mostly feels like I'm just sitting around.  Scratch the waiting.  I don't feel that useful most days.



But the beauty of God is that He is God.  He's not limited by my finite imagination, and He isn't spurred on by my growing sense of impatience.  Thankfully, He continues on at His pace with His plan.  And I am reassured to know that He knows what I need, His ways are higher than mine, and His will will be what prevails.

I need to think of my life as a precious pregnancy, something to be protected and appreciated.  I need to be patient and reassured, not rushing headlong into anything that could distract me.  I will try to recognize the importance of these years that feel like waiting.  I will trust that they are necessary and vital.



Trust, that's the ticket, isn't it?  I trust you, Lord.  Do Your work in me.


Heavenly Father, help me to be more aware of the work You are doing in me.  Grant me more patience in the waiting.  In Jesus' Name, Amen...

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